TUESDAY’S TIP: DON’T ARGUE TO WIN, DISCUSS TO UNDERSTAND

This week I’m focusing on the topic of realizing the importance of not trying to WIN, but trying to UNDERSTAND when discussing difficult topics.

Sometimes egos get in the way, and we can crush another person’s spirit when we’re communicating. Even in cases where you may be 100 percent correct about a matter, listening to and UNDERSTANDING your mate yields better, long-term results.

There were times when my wife and I had disagreements, and I would try to finish her sentences without truly listening to her. I wasn’t listening because I wanted to be right and WIN.

During heated conversations or when DISCUSSING topics that are difficult,  you must decide if it’s better to WIN or better to UNDERSTAND. UNDERSTANDING enlightens so we can analyze a DISCUSSION from different perspectives. In the middle of an ARGUMENT,  usually no one listens, and UNDERSTANDING tends to be limited.

A person that enjoys constantly ARGUING usually also manipulates the conversation to where there is a one-direction advantage to where his or her point is the only one heard. This type of individual isn’t looking for ways to UNDERSTAND, that individual just wants to WIN…classic symptoms of pride. This proud behavior will never unite couples. It only brings division and animosity.

Listening to UNDERSTAND is a learned behavior, and it can lead to healthy relationships. If the DISCUSSION is heated or a sensitive subject, take a deep breathe, take both sides into consideration and create a situation where both parties are happy and satisfied. The goal should be to promote a WIN-WIN situation where there is UNDERSTANDING that breeds a new level of intimacy.

In all thy getting, get an UNDERSTANDING.

HINT: Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) and Proverbs 4: 5-7 (NJKV)

Love you guys, see you next week….

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